The Wall of Quotes

These are from our senior year together at the eponymous house in which we lived. New quotes will be added as they become available (or if I can see into the future.)

Senior year quotes:

— In Memory of Texas Pete: Perhaps he is the Jesus of the centipedes. — Tony

— A good craftsman never blames his tools and you, sir, are quite the tool. — Kevin, to Dan

— The “Amy” story is one of misunderstanding, whereas the “Beth Sherman” story is one of colossal stupidity. — Dan, to Tony

— This is not a pants-optional household! — Kevin

— If the short form of roommate is “roomie”, is the short form of housemate “homie”? Have I uncovered its etymology? — Tony

— I believe we have “whitewashed” it now, if you will. — Dan

Recent quotes:

If I was a congressman, I would address everything “Dear F*ckface: Your rambling problems aren’t my concern. I don’t care if your neighbor’s cat does poop on your lawn. I don’t give a flying f*ck. If you want results, make some money and hire a lobbyist.” — Tony (August 30th, 2006), on the futility of writing to your congressman

Tony: The trick is to find something that will amuse her but not offend her.
Kevin: “My penis is the size of a dump truck. That’s why they call me dump truck. Or at least my penis.”
Tony: I’m pretty sure that would affend her though. Women are weird like that.
Kevin: They can’t just be happy that your penis has its own internal combustion engine.

Kevin: If I can’t be funny, I might as well be easy.

Kevin:  Everything I do is either for the ladies or for the money.  And because there are no ladies involved, it’s for the money.

Under Construction.

2 thoughts on “The Wall of Quotes

  1. I should note, for the sake of those who are familiar with most of my embarrassing history but not with the context behind these quotes,
    that the “Beth Sherman Story” refers to the manner in which I broke up with her and the “colossal stupidity” given mention is entirely
    my own. Now let us never speak of it again.

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