Become A Better Speaker

That’s a big title.  Expect “(on the margin)” in tiny font after the title.

What Other People Say

Let me start off with some great resources, and then I’ll move to a few things that have helped me in the past.

Troy Hunt

Troy is a master of preparation.  Check out his prep work he did for NDC.  I don’t remember if he linked in either of these posts, but he will schedule tweets for certain parts of his talk because he knows exactly when he’ll get to that point.  Also check out his speaker anti-patterns and fix them.  Of his anti-patterns, I most hate the Reader.  Please don’t read your slides; your audience can read faster than you can speak, and your audience can read the slides later.  Tell engaging stories, tie things together, and give people something they can remember when they do re-read those slides.  You’ll also enjoy his checklist of the 19 things he needs to do before the talk begins.

What I get from Troy:  Practice, practice, practice.  One thing I want to get better at is taping myself and forcing me to listen to it.  There are verbal tics which you can only find when you listen to yourself.

Brent Ozar

Brent is a top marketer in the SQL Server world.  Here’s some great advice from him on delivering technical presentations.  He’s absolutely right about giving people a link at the end telling them where to get additional materials.  He has additional information on how to handle slides, working with the audience, and getting prepped for the session.  I think his music idea is interesting; at a couple all-day cons we’ve hosted locally, the guy who hosts tends to put on some early morning music before festivities begin.  It lightens up the mood considerably and works a lot better than a bunch of introverts staring quietly at their phones for 40 minutes until someone makes a move to begin.

What I get from Brent:  I’ve cribbed a few things from him.  All of my slide decks have two pieces of information at the end:  “To learn more, go here” and “And for help, contact me.”  The first bit then points to a short form address URL I bought ( and which redirects you to the longer-form address.  On that link, I include slides, a link to my GitHub repo, and additional links and helpful information.  The second bit on contacting includes my e-mail address and Twitter handle.

Paul Randal

Paul has a great Pluralsight course on communication.  This course isn’t just about presentations, but there are two modules, one on writing presentations and one on giving presentations.  I highly recommend this course.

What I get from Paul:  Practice, prepare, and don’t panic.  Compare against my previous review of this course.  Things will inevitably go wrong, so take spare cables and extras of anything you can fit.  At this point, I even carry a mini projector in case of emergency.  I’ve not needed to use it but there might come a day.

Julia Evans

Julia has a fantastic blog post on improving talks and conferences.  I definitely like her point about understanding your target audience.  Her argument in favor of lightning talks is interesting, and I think for beginners, it’s a good idea.  For more experienced speakers, however, 10 minutes is barely an introduction, and sometimes I want a deep dive.  Those have to be longer talks just by their nature.

Another great point she makes is to give hard talks:  aim for beginners to scrape part of it but for experts to learn from it as well.  I absolutely love Kyle Kingsbury’s work too and he helped me get a handle on distributed systems, but in a way that I could re-read his posts several months later and pick out points I never got before.

What I get from Julia:  Find your motivation and make your talks work better for a broader range of people.  I have one talk in particular on the APPLY operator which has the goal of making sure that pretty much anybody, regardless of how long you’ve been in the field, learns something new.  There are a couple of examples which are easier for new users to understand and a couple of examples which are definitely more advanced but still straightforward enough that a new user can get there (even if it does take a little longer).  Ideally, I’d like all of my talks to be that way.

What I Recommend

Here are a few recommendations that I’ll throw out at you.  I’m going to try not to include too much overlap with the above links, as I really want you to read those posts and watch those videos.

  • Practice!  Practice until you know the first five minutes cold.  There are some presenters who will practice a talk multiple times a day for several days in a row.  I’m not one of those people, but if you’re capable of it, go for it.
  • Record yourself.  Find all of those placeholder words and beat them out of yourself.  I don’t mean just “Uh,” “Er,” “Um,” “Ah,” and so on.  In my case, I have a bad habit of starting sentences with “So…”  I’m working on eliminating that habit.  Recordings keep you honest.
  • Tell interesting stories.  To crib from one of my 18th century main men, Edmund Burke, “Example is the best school of mankind, and they will learn at no other.”  Theory ties your work together, and stories drive the audience.  Stories about failure and recovery from failure are particularly interesting; that’s one of the core tenets of drama.
  • Prep and practice your demos.  If you’re modifying anything (databases, settings, etc.) over the course of your demo, have a revert script at the end or revert your VM.  That way, you won’t forget about it at the end of a great talk, give the talk again later (after you’ve forgotten that you never rolled everything back), and have your demos fail because you forgot.  Not that this has happened to me…
  • Speaking of failure, prepare for failure.
    • Have extra cables.  I have all kinds of adapters for different types of projectors.  I have VGA, DVI (though I’ve only seen one or two projectors which required this), and HDMI adapters for both of my laptops in my bag at all times.
    • Prepare to be offline.  If your talk can be done offline, you should do it that way.  Internet connections at conferences are pretty crappy, and a lot of demo failures can be chalked up to flaky networks.  This means having your slides available locally, having your demo scripts available locally, etc.
    • Have your slides and demo scripts on a spare drive, USB stick, or something.  If all else fails, maybe you can borrow somebody else’s laptop for the talk.  I had to do this once.  It was embarrassing, but I got through it and actually got good scores.  The trick is to adapt, improvise, and overcome.  And you do that with preparation and practice.
    • Have your slides and demo scripts available online.  I know I mentioned assuming that your internet connection will flake out, but if your system flakes out and someone lends you a laptop but can’t accept USB sticks (maybe it’s a company laptop), at least you can grab the slides and code online.
    • If you do need an internet connection, have a MiFi or phone you can tether to your laptop, just in case.  If you have two or three redundant internet sources, the chances of them all failing are much lower than any single one failing.
    • Have a spare laptop if you can.  That’s hard and potentially expensive, but sometimes a computer just goes bye-bye an hour before your presentation.
  • Install updates on your VMs regularly.  Do it two nights before your presentation; that way, if an update nukes your system, you have a day to recover.  Also, it reduces the risk that Windows 10 will pick your presentation as the perfect time to install 700 updates.  Very helpful, that Windows 10 is.
  • When in doubt, draw it out.  I have embraced touchscreens on laptops, bought a nice stylus, and love drawing on the screen.  I think it helps the audience understand where you’re going better than using a laser pointer, and sometimes you don’t have a whiteboard.  If you don’t like touchscreens, ZoomIt still works with a mouse.
  • Speaking of which, learn how to use ZoomIt or some other magnification tool.  Even if you set your fonts bigger (which yes, you need to do), you will want to focus in on certain parts of text or deal with apps like SQL Server Management Studio which have fixed-size sections.

There are tomes of useful information on this topic, so a single blog post won’t have all of the answers, but hopefully this is a start.

Upcoming Events

First, a plug.  The folks at Red Gate have re-published my Tribal SQL chapter as a standalone article.  If you like it, go out and get a copy of the book, as there are a number of excellent authors there.

  • On May 16-18, I will be attending CarolinaCon.  It’s hard to beat $20 for a weekend of security talks.
  • On May 21st, I am going to present to the TriNUG Data SIG on In-Memory OLTP in SQL Server 2014 (AKA, Hekaton).
  • On June 14th, I am going to attend SQL Saturday #299 in Columbus.  I’m not sure yet if I’ll have the opportunity to present there, however.

Over the next few weeks, I plan to start putting up some more technical posts as I look into Hekaton and a couple of other topics.  The big one that I have is an analogy:  F# is to development DBAs what Powershell is to production DBAs.  I want to introduce F# as a set-based functional language which plays very nicely with a SQL Server infrastructure and provides a shallower learning curve than C#.

Also, now that the weather is warming up, it’s time to start hitting the trails and visiting parks.  This means I should be able to start taking more photographs again.

Continuity: Friend or enemy?

io9 has a great article about continuity and/or the lack thereof in the major contenders to the Marvel Universe.

I begin this with the following preface: I did not and do not read comics. As a kid, I was fascinated by the Transformers comics (why? Because fucking robot dinosaurs, THAT’S WHY), but I never internalized them the way others have. It’s only been the tremendous comic book movies and video games of the last few years that I’ve gotten interested. I still don’t know that I’d want to read comic books, but I’ve mulled it over, which is more than I can say as opposed to, say, ten years ago.

I agree with choice #1 being doomed — Spider-Man is a great character, but you can’t build an entire universe around him. The supporting characters are shit. The only way to pull it off would be to give Green Goblin his own movie, having Spider-Man entirely in the background. I just don’t know if people would watch them. Venom is an interesting character, but you’d need an insane slow burn to pull it off properly, as far as I understand. Slow burns don’t work in movies — TV series, maybe, but not movies.

#3 is also a tough sell, but I haven’t seen Man of Steel yet, so I’ll refrain from comment for the moment on Superman. Yet the Batman trilogy was brilliant, and one I can watch again and again (or would, if I had a Blu-Ray player here). And Ben Affleck as Batman…  You’re going to have a nearly impossible time, in terms of pure continuity, trying to connect Nolanverse Batman to Ben Affleck. The only alternative is to treat Batman vs. Superman as a complete reboot of Batman, which runs the risk of losing the very trilogy that made DC Films so profitable, profitable enough to the point where you COULD think about a Justice League film.

So entry #2 — Fox, who owns the Fantastic Four and the X-Men? How doomed are they? According to another io9 article, very.

There’s an inherent weakness to the X-Men, in that it’s pretty much an ensemble cast. The X-Men are about complex interrelationships between lots and lots of people. There’s a core — Wolverine, Magneto, Professor X, Jean Grey, maybe Mystique — but there’s a lot of byplay, people being brought forward and pushed back. That’s all perfectly acceptable. Yet what makes the Avengers work is firmly established characters, with clearly defined roles. That doesn’t really exist, at present, for the X-Men films. Cyclops/Scott Summers — a focal point in the comics and many of the video games — is killed off camera in the third movie. Okay, so let’s make a spinoff, say, about Wolverine? Give him his own movies? Those range from “eh” to “god awful.” The Magneto movie — and if any single character needs his own movie in X-Men, it’s Magneto — never materialized.

Yet Fox has made a decision — that decision is to make continuity out of all of the existing X-Men movies. First Class was really good; I enjoyed it immensely. Then again, I liked the first two X-Men movies also (the third one was a C+, until I saw what the actual story ought to have been; it’s drifted to a low C, high D now). To get any kind of reasonable continuity seems nigh impossible, and given the heavy use of time travel in Days of Future Past, which will make internal continuity difficult? I think it will take a herculean effort. If they pull it off, great; I’m looking forward to seeing how they treat Apocalypse and the Horsemen in the 2016 film.

This brings me to the subject of the Fantastic Four. Those movies I also enjoyed, somewhat. Michael Chiklis was an absolutely brilliant Thing. Jessica Alba was, uh, hot, I guess. Everyone else is more or less forgettable (Chris Evans nailed Captain America in a way he couldn’t the Human Torch). The problem began with how they conceptualized Dr. Doom. Look — Dr. Doom is the key to making the Fantastic Four work. He’s one of the best villains of all time. He’s smart, rich, and has diplomatic immunity; what’s not to hate? The movies made him into a sniveling twerp.

The reboot planned… I really don’t have high hopes. I like Kate Mara. I even like Michael B. Jordan. What we don’t know is who will play Dr. Doom. If a good choice is made, there’s a lot of room to grow there. Use the Silver Surfer/Galactus storyline again, too, but AFTER Dr. Doom is well established. Except — I’ve heard of precisely none of the people on the Dr. Doom shortlist. Okay, you’re going young, so you need a young Dr. Doom also. We can’t have Michael Fassbender play Magneto and Dr. Doom, I guess. (They want to make Fantastic Four and X-Men part of the same universe). Matt Smith, the Eleventh Doctor, wouldn’t be a bad name, to pick one at random, but I’m honestly struggling to think of a great young actor who could pull this off. Everything will depend on his choice. If he works, the franchise will do okay out of the gate (because very few people will watch it based on the name, and there is almost zero starpower right now). If he doesn’t…

Maybe io9 is right.

Hire Fast, Fire Fast

Great advice for a startup.  Great advice for any company.

One bad employee can be a cancer on an organization.  Keeping bad employees around means that you are essentially rewarding poor behavior, so good employees have less incentive to work hard.  Mark Suster focuses on startups, but this also applies to large companies as well, even though it’s a lot harder to fire somebody from a large company than a startup.

“Diversity Before Diversity”

Steve Sailer brings up a very interesting concept:  various Indian tribes were feared up until the early 1900s, and yet Robert L. Owen could be named Senator.  As Sailer notes, this behavior strikes a blow against the notion that white-black bigotry was hate-based, given that whites tended to hate and fear Indians far more than blacks.

Bonus question:  would the attitude of Americans vis-a-vis Japanese during the 1940s versus, say, the 1970s be relevant to this?