Browsers and I have a long and somewhat-inimical relationship.  Here is what I want in a browser:

  1. Fast.  The browser should load faster than Netscape 4 did.  This means you, Firefox.
  2. Secure.  I want to turn off Javascript by default and turn it on when necessary.  Firefox has NoScript, which is great for that.  Chrome has historically tried to avoid adding that functionality, but ScriptSafe used to be a good alternative.  Ever since a couple of months ago, ScriptSafe has started to break Google searches, so I moved on to uMatrix (also available on Firefox).  I’ve liked that experience so far, especially because you can set domain-specific privileges, so I could allow third-party YouTube scripts on one domain but not another.
  3. Convenient.  Remember my settings, bring me back to where I left off in case I reboot my PC, and make it so that I don’t have to fight your UI.  Chrome is the worst about this:  by default, they don’t re-open tabs if you close the browser, meaning that you could lose a bunch of tabs if, say, Windows decides to reboot your computer overnight.

Every single browser on the market seems to fail me in various ways.  Here’s my current (and definitely not comprehensive) complaint list:

  • Edge:  I like how fast it is and how well it does HTML 5, but you cannot right-click and save!  Seriously, who let a modern browser out which does not allow you to choose to download things?
  • Internet Explorer:  Yeah, I’ve heard that IE 10 and 11 don’t suck nearly as much as IE used to, but you burned that bridge with me years ago, Microsoft.
  • Firefox:  NoScript is cool, but Firefox seems to get more and more bloated, slower and slower, more and more memory-intensive.  Just like Mozilla did.  Just like Netscape did.  It’s about time for another group to blow up the browser and start over; maybe it’ll be good for 2-3 versions like these other browsers were.
  • Chrome:  When I’m on a touchscreen device and I have a keyboard attached, I don’t want the on-screen keyboard to show up whenever I click on an input box.  I have a device which provides input already.  You should know that I have a device which provides input because Firefox and Edge don’t behave this way.  So what’s the advice Chrome gives?  Shut off on-screen keyboard…which is terrible advice for someone who has a tablet.  Also, Chrome has felt more bloated over time as well and it soaks up memory.
  • Safari:  I’ll admit that I don’t use Safari for Windows.  I tried it a few years back, but it was a horrible knock-off of the Apple version.  If I want a horrible knockoff browser, I’d reinstall Konqueror.
  • Opera:  Nope.

Are there any browsers on the market which don’t suck?  I’ll take Linux or Windows browsers.  Over on Android, I’m OK with Dolphin Browser because of its LastPass integration, tabbed browsing experience, and decent speed.

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