The hilarity of players randomly changing their names for no reason never gets old. Enter the Centerfielder Formerly Known as B. J. Upton. You are now legally required to call him Melvin Upton, Jr. I don’t know how this will help the vortex of suck that is his bat, but I have a suspicion.
Mevin Upon
Mvin Up
MVP.
You’re welcome, Kevin.
36 Chambers - The Legendary Journeys: Execution to the max! 
When I first saw that, the name that popped into mind was Melvin Eugene Punymeyer.
That would be even better!