How Many Places Can I Fall Off?

Here is the roadmap to success. You can tell that this was Progressive Era business thought:  it’s all about “following the system.”  Individual initiative or thought?  Eh, that will just get you screwed up; instead, you have to follow the system!  Fortunately, I skipped past the Bohemianism area and around the sinkhole of illiteracy.  I probably would get stuck at Hotel Know-It-All, even though I objectively know that I don’t actually know it all; I just act that way…  If I could get past that, I don’t have too many vices (outside of ill temper and a tendency to murder prostitutes find dead bodies in the trunk of my car for no reason at all) and have relatively few bad habits, as long as “an abject refusal to talk to people on the telephone” doesn’t count as a bad habit.  Maybe the giant spider of procrastination would get me, but it looks like in the end, I’m getting shot out of the Bad Temper cannon and into the river of failure.  At least I know that Tony wouldn’t make it to the golden harp of success:  at the very worst, he’d get stuck at the laziness cafe.

Quick hits from the Penguatroll in his triumphant return!

My faithful readers, I have returned after a long hiatus I’m too lazy to look up! With work, classes, a wife, and video games, I’ve had little time. I am planning on another Madden post, a couple of reviews, and a fantasy football post in the near future, now that I can manage my workload more efficiently at this point. For now, though, a couple of quick points and then I’m gone.

— The offensive ineptitude continues! While we are sucking at less impressive rates, due to Eric Mangini, the sucking nevertheless continues. Why do we suck? The same reason we’ve sucked for a long time — no running game! When it does work well (see Jamal Lewis in Week 1), we abandon it quickly to let Brady Quinn make pointless throws downfield. Look, let Quinn throw short! I promise, it’s legal. Let him pad his stats a bit early in the game, turn him loose after he has confidence. Also, play your rookie WRs!

— After regaining cable after about three months, I’m completely confused by TNA, who seems to turn one wrestler a week, usually the same wrestler they turned the week before. On WWE, Smackdown is awesome, ECW and SuperStars have good matches, and RAW is hit or miss depending on the guest host (apparently, Al Sharpton next week… this will either be the greatest RAW ever or the worst.)

— Picked up Fight Night Round 4, played it for two months, returned it, and got NCAA Football 10. Also got the Futurama Box set (all four seasons!), the 12 season of the Simpsons (finally, Night of the Living Dolphin!), and a couple of wrestling DVDs. Reviews on Fight Night and NCAA will come later, but for now, Fight Night is a C+ and NCAA a B+. I’ll explain more later.