Tony May Have A New Enemy

This man grows gigantic onions.  I have no idea what the Chinese on this page reads, though I imagine it’s a description of the man and his 6-pound onion.


Congratulations To Buffalo

I would like to congratulate the Buffalo Bills on winning 17-14 against the Jets.  More importantly, they did not lose anybody for the season yesterday, so good for them.

To The Airport—And Victory!

My parents are going to Atlanta for the week, so I’m going to have to drop them off at the airport today.  I suppose it’s a good thing that I don’t care about any of the NFL games going on here (Browns/Ravens, Seahawks/49ers, Steelers/Cardinals), though I will say that I would like to see the Browns and Cardinals win.  I don’t really have a desired pick in the Seahawks/49ers game, seeing as how I don’t care that much about either team.  I would also like to stay awake long enough to see Chad Johnson score a touchdown tomorrow night, but I don’t care that much about the Iggles game tonight.

A New Motto

I was watching some terrible show with Pat yesterday, one whose name I quickly forgot. It’s pretty much any fractured-family sitcom, though without Nikki Cox or Bobcat Goldthwait as a talking stuffed bunny. There was one line that I really enjoyed, though, when the father was looking for dinner: “I smell no meats of any kind.”

It’s a new motto for me, and probably also for Tony. Dan might not use it, though, as last time I heard, he subsists on rabbit food.

Skunk Sighted, Lost

I went over to Pat’s today for some video gaming and Sunday relaxation on Friday, since I am busy on Sunday.  We played Lethal Enforcers 1 and 2.  I was rather rusty, and Pat was better at shooting the innocent folks than the bad guys.  We didn’t get too far on that…  After that, we played Streets of Rage 2.  I ended up beating the game, but he lost all of his continues in round 7.  I believe this means that I am officially better at that game.  Huzzah!

After playing, I decided it was time to go home, as I must go to synagogue in the morning.  Upon opening the door, I noticed a skunk and non-chalantly said, “Hey, it looks like there’s a skunk out here.”  Pat’s wife, taken slightly aback by the idea that a skunk should enter their abode, shut the door.  Pat, meanwhile, went to look for a camera to take some skunky pictures, but by the time he came back, the skunk was gone.  “If it sprays on you, I’m not letting you back in,” she said to Pat.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I wouldn’t let him in my car, either…  At any rate, the skunk went off on its own way, having apparently been intimidated by my incredible me-ness, so Pat didn’t have the opportunity to smell like a skunk for the next couple of weeks.

Confession Time

Hey Kevin, remember how our freshman and sophomore dorms had sinks but no bathrooms? Remember how far you’d have to walk down the hall to get to a urinal? Remember what a lazy slob I was?

Well, I’m glad we had this talk. I didn’t want you going through the rest of your life thinking I never peed where you brushed your teeth. But I’ve got a feeling you always just knew.

Super Bowl Won

I destroyed the Colts and the Redskins to take my 15-1 Bills (the one loss was a simulated game against the Pats) to a Super Bowl victory.  After the season, I made some big changes.  The biggest one was drafting a QB from Auburn with the #3 overall pick.  This guy is slightly faster than Losman, more aware, slightly more accurate, and slightly less powerful.  He is an 89 overall versus Losman’s 82 and the time is ripe for a QB controversy.  Norton, the man who has everything you can want in a wide receiver except for hands, gained 6 points in his catch stat (79 now) and is up to a 98 speed.  This makes him a significantly more deadly threat, and Marshawn Lynch jumped up to a 98 speed as well, so I should be breaking more long runs.  I broke my first long run with Lynch against the Colts, going straight up the gut for 80 yards because their safeties were doubling up the receivers.

Unfortunately, my defense  got worse because I let a pair of DTs and my LOLB go.  I replaced Ashton Youboty with a guy who is similar, so my secondary remains good but not great.  My new LOLB is a 72 overall, but is probably the best 72 overall that I’ve ever seen:  he is fast, tackles well (for an outside linebacker), is pretty close to being a big hitter and brick wall weapon, and has everything except for strength and awareness.  I’m satisfied with him, though I do want his awareness to improve, and I can run him through drills for that.  For DT, though, I’m thinking about trading JP Losman and my 2nd rounder for Pat Williams or somebody along those lines.  There were three teams willing to trade me, so I’ll see what I can get.

The other big loss was that somehow I downgraded at center from the bad Melvin Fowler to a pair of guys who are actually worse.  One is a good blocker but is extremely slow.  The other is not as good of a blocker but is much faster.  Neither is particularly strong, though they have fair ratings for centers (87-89 strength).  I’m going to run drills on both and see who catches on quicker, starting that fellow.  On the bright side, three of my 5 linemen are good and Langston Walker has improved to the point that he is acceptable.

All in all, this team is probably about even with last year’s team.  Its advantage, though, is that my QB has a lot of room for improvement, whereas Losman has plateaued. At any rate, I’m still declaring myself the odds-on favorite to win next year’s Super Bowl…