Clowns To The Left Of Me, Jokers To My Right

I was going to have a real blog post tonight, but after the hour I spent to get an entire 5 miles on the freeway, I ran out of time.  I hope that automated cars come soon because that would at least reduce the number of morons on the highway who do damage.

Rosebud…Rosebud Frozen Peas

I watched Citizen Kane tonight and naturally this led me to Rosebud.  And then there’s the frozen peas commercial.  Or, if you prefer, the Brain.

When In Doubt, Just Make Up New Numbers

Hugo Chavez doesn’t like how reality intrudes on his socialist games, so he’s re-defining the figures.  Sounds like government for you…

Happy Freedom Day

Celebrate freedom.

An Open Letter to George Kokinis… er… Ernie Accorsi… er… Eric Manigini?

I thought I’d try this since it worked so well for Kevin.

Dear Sir, Madam, or Vegetable, whoever is running the Browns these days,

I am a loyal Browns fan. I actually went to a Browns game at Municipal Stadium, thus making me hardcore even if I was an infant at the time and don’t remember it.

I feel that the Browns organization is lacking direction at the moment. After a fairly successful draft, in which we acquired an awesome lineman, two capable wide receivers, and some quality linebackers (albeit projects), this season has gone to hell, not in a hand-basket, mind you, but more of a fireman’s pole. A fireman’s pole that has been greased with lard. The lard, needless to say, has been greased with more lard.

Now, I am a realist, and fully expected we would win less than half of our games this year. I would have been pleased with 7-9. Instead, we are 1-8, and are spared from another loss solely by the bye week. Now, 7-9 is still feasible, but unlikely.

Ultimately, benching Brady Quinn was a phenomenally stupid decision. Yes, I know that we would have paid him more money if we let him play, but seriously, where did you come up with that one? Our sole win of the season came in spite of Derek Anderson, not because of him. Brady Quinn cures malaria!! It’s on a blog, and therefore is now fact.

Anderson has exactly one noticeable skill – throwing deep passes. It’s all he can do. In fact, I’m fairly sure while passing the salt at the dinner table, he chucks it 60 yards, out of anyone’s reach, rather than simply passing it. When you have a brilliant receiver corps — like he did in his Pro Bowl year — you can make that work. Instead of recognizing this liability, you have chosen to embrace it, for in your infinite wisdom, a 60 yard incompletion is better than a five yard completion.

Now, in order to make your phenomenally stupid decision even more phenomenally stupid, you then trade the sole deep threat on your team to the Jets. Now, the draft day deals got us quality players, so I backed you on that. When you traded Edwards, I thought you did it for chemistry and that it impended the return of Quinn. And yet, I was wrong. You continue to insist, beyond any reasonable expectation of loyalty, that Derek Anderson gives us a better chance to win games. He doesn’t!

I understand that the former regime, particularly Romeo Crennell, was passive. Indeed, Crennell was a fatter, even more comatose Art Shell. However, there are other alternatives to doing nothing than doing everything. Phil Savage, while an excellent builder of teams, should have traded Derek Anderson after his improbable Pro Bowl season. Then, you would not have had an alternative apart from Quinn and Ratliff, who even Mangini admits sucks.

The team is in such dire straits that Jamal Lewis, the least sucky running back in Browns 2.0 history, has announced his retirement. Twice. In mid season! Thus, you have alienated your possible QB of the future, who should be the QB of the past, and you will also have no running back.

If the subtle subtext of my letter has not gotten to you, let me spell it out. PLAY BRADY QUINN. I don’t care what you do with Derek Anderson: trade him, cut him, sell him on the white slave market (there could be demand for people with a tremendous throwing arm and no accuracy in Dubai or something), or simply (my personal choice) decapitate him and spike his head on a pole as a warning to others. I’m not sure what the warning is, other than don’t be Derek Anderson, but that, my friend, is warning enough.

Also, if you reply, please tell me who is in charge of the Browns. If it turns out it’s me, let me know, because I’ve got changes to make and a pike to sharpen.

Sincerely,

The Penguatroll

36 Chambers – The Legendary Journeys

The Africanization Of America

When entrepreneurship’s greatest use is in getting government funds, economic progress is in jeopardy.

Sickness…

Apparently, I’m coming down with something.  Due to that, posting may be intermittent over the next several days.  Well, that and the two AI projects due on Wednesday that I haven’t done enough work on…

A Chinese Time-Killer

I was recommended to try this memory game, which turned out to be quite fun.  Basically, you will see a series of numbers appear on the screen for a short period of time.  Once the numbers disappear, your job is to click on the bubbles which contained the numbers, going from smallest to largest.  Each time you successfully complete a round, the game gets one level more difficult; if you fail, the game drops back to the previous round.  You have a total of 10 tries and based on your performance, the final score indicates your “memory age.”  In this game, a lower score is better.

I ended up getting a score of 20 on my second try, thereby indicating that my memory age is roughly five times my mental age.

A Manly Weekend

This weekend, instead of posting like I thought I would, I ended up performing a series of necessary tasks to improve my domestic situation.  First, I did my semi-annual toss-out expedition, eliminating roughly two bags worth of stuff.  Today, I fixed the lighting situation in my living room—it used to be pretty dark because of how spacious the room is—with a couple full spectrum lights.  They do seem to light up the room better than my previous lamps, though I will have to get used to the fluorescent-like lighting.  Unfortunately, those lamps are 4′ tall, so that wouldn’t do at all for me.  As a result, I ended up going and getting 5-gallon paint buckets to put them on.  The base fits almost perfectly on the bottom of these buckets, and I hid them behind a chair and a table, so you can’t see the redneck rigging job I did…

On top of that, I also improved[?] the bike basket situation.  I have a front basket that I’m using on the side, and I used velcro and weather stripping to make the fit there tighter.

Then, if that weren’t enough, I also have plans to shorten a couple of belts (because they’re a couple inches too big for me) and hang up a pair of portraits.  But right now, I’m relaxing with a franchise of Madden 10.  Tony had better be correct that this is a potato of games…

No Time…

Well, looks like I won’t get to finishing up the stuff I wanted to do.  I’m learning SSIS via a work example, so that’s my current homework.  In addition, I’m looking over a dissertation draft, meaning that what little time I had is gone as I race to get everything done before Shabbat, as I won’t have any time on Sunday…

There should be a couple of posts this weekend, though, as I still have enough of a guilt-based ethic to keep going every day (even though it’s been more sporadic lately).