36 Chambers – The Legendary Journeys: Execution to the max!

December 26, 2013

About one stupid article away from punting on ESPN

Filed under: Curmudgeonliness, Specific Stupidity, Sports — Tony Demchak @ 12:27 pm

There was a time when ESPN was my go-to source for sporting news. These were the halcyon days, when you had Rob Neyer and Buster Olney covering baseball, Bill Simmons talked mostly about basketball but covered other stuff too, I didn’t hate Gregg Easterbrook yet, John Clayton covered football… good times.

Then they decided to go hyper regional. Which gives us this dreck.

The title reads “The Browns can build around Joe Haden.” I think to myself, hmm… an article about building a football team around an elite cornerback first? That should be interesting.

But no. It’s more “Joe Haden = good football player!” and “resign TJ Ward” and “Joe Haden x 2 = 2 good football players!” I don’t disagree with resigning TJ Ward. I don’t disagree that Joe Haden is awesome. I disagree when you say “build around” when you really mean “Joe Haden = good football player!!” (It’s in the title here, so it gets TWO exclamation points. That means it’s doubly analytical and stuff!) Oh, and to add insult to injury, he decides to give him a slick new nickname — H! There is absolutely no way such a profound and brilliant suggestion could ever, EVER, go wrong. EVER. Oh, and maybe you were looking for proof that he’s a great player?

Here’s an actual quote.

Despite using premium resources on pass-rushers this past offseason, Cleveland’s defense still doesn’t rush the quarterback as well as they should. Despite registering 39 sacks over 15 games they have failed to generate consistent pressure. Still, the Browns’ pass-defense is well above average.

Okay, so they suck at pass rushing. (I would quibble with that, but whatever.) How does that make their pass-defense well above average? Because other teams have not, in fact, scored infinity points on the Browns this year? Maybe they just got tired. Maybe they felt bad. Maybe the concession stands offered them free beer during every break. Maybe, like in Blitz the League, the Browns front office hires hookers for the other team to give them the clap. [Still a high point in the history of gaming, I must say.] WE DON’T KNOW BECAUSE YOUR ARTICLE IS GARBAGE.

At least they put Jamison Hensley on the Ravens only desk.

December 18, 2013

Fuck you, Venus.

Filed under: Specific Stupidity, Sports — Tony Demchak @ 12:19 pm

*The planet, not the goddess or the tennis player. MAYBE the statue. What’s with the arms, statue? Something to hide?!

Sports on Earth is quickly becoming a treasure trove of analysis and hilarity. (Hilarysis, I like to call it. This word is far better than trying to do it the other way. DO NOT TRY IT THE OTHER WAY.) This article was genuinely entertaining and informing.

All I have to say is Dan Dierdorf and Tim McCarver soon being out of pro sports delights me to no end.

December 17, 2013

It couldn’t happen to a nicer team

Filed under: Specific Stupidity, Sports — Tony Demchak @ 2:10 pm

Grantland has a great story here. I can’t rightly call this Schadenfreude because it’s all joy, baby. The Yankees have dominated MLB for too long and deserve a little vacation. This cannot be anything other than good for baseball.

With that said, I think the most amazing thing is how incredible Robinson Cano is. As the article mentions, he was the best player in baseball for the last four years by bWAR. Number of MVPs won? Zero. He’s placed third exactly once (2010). A Yankee — and I’m throwing up a little in my mouth just typing this — is underrated. I didn’t think that was possible. It’s close — the top five, BTW, are Cano, Miguel Cabrera, Adrian Beltre, Clayton Kershaw, and Joey Votto — but that doesn’t excuse his being overlooked in the hardware department. Now Seattle is paying him scads of money to be just as awesome (probably) but for a terrible team that is managed by the equivalent of fungus.

Okay, I guess there’s the tiniest bit of shame there after all.


October 23, 2013

150+ year old spoiler alert!

Filed under: Science!, Specific Stupidity — Tony Demchak @ 11:00 am

I finished reading From the Earth to the Moon thanks to feedbooks the other day. I am awfully fond of Jules Verne as a writer and consider him one of the finest science fiction writers of all time.

But. (Warning: not only are there spoilers ahead, but lots of profanity.)


October 11, 2013

Who You Gonna Call?

Filed under: Curmudgeonliness, Specific Stupidity — Kevin Feasel @ 6:00 pm


October 7, 2013

Why not shut down the shutdowners?

Filed under: Politics, Specific Stupidity — Tony Demchak @ 10:24 am

A friend posted this article on Facebook. Provided the fundamental point of the article is true (and it does pass the smell test, at least to me), then here is my question:

Why is John Boehner letting this minority of Republicans cripple his party?

Regardless of why the shutdown was implemented, it’s a PR nightmare for the GOP. The Democrats will probably get some blowback, too, but they’ve successfully maneuvered themselves into the position of victims. I’m not talking about reality here, just the perception of reality.

So, the obvious solution (at least to me) is to kick the recalcitrant few out of the Republican Party. Force them to run as independents or, maybe, try to form a third party.

You will doubtless say, “but Tony, won’t that split the Republican vote? The GOP would be committing suicide in 2014!”

My response: “They committed suicide the moment they even obliquely endorsed something as incredibly stupid as the government shutdown. This is acknowledging that fact and trying to recover in time for 2016.”

John Boehner would probably lose any credibility he has left. Again, why is this bad?

I await Kevin’s response (and maybe other readers too!).

September 19, 2013

And part of me just died

Filed under: Specific Stupidity, Sports — Tony Demchak @ 10:19 am

So… um… yeah. There are a few possibilities here:

1) Trent Richardson was hurt worse last year than anybody admitted, including Richardson, yet somehow will still pass his Colts physical.

2) The Browns desperately, desperately want a new QB. The Colts made the playoffs, though, so I’m not sure how valuable this pick will be. Of course, without even a semi-competent running back, our actual pick will be damn good…

3) Jimmy Haslam has something to do with it. I don’t know what, but something. Maybe he still secretly owns part of the Steelers.

4) Mike Lombardi really is an idiot, like everybody has said for years.

5) There really is a G_d, and he really does hate Cleveland.

I’m glad I don’t get to see any Browns games this year now.

September 17, 2013

This must be why all those Nigerian princes are broke

Filed under: Specific Stupidity — Tony Demchak @ 4:01 am

Obviously, gay marriage is wrong, because magnets. OBVIOUSLY. (H/t to Polandball)


August 16, 2013

New Math Strikes Again

Filed under: Curmudgeonliness, Specific Stupidity — Kevin Feasel @ 6:00 pm

With Common Core standards, correctness isn’t necessarily correct.  Note that there are prominent Republicans who support this too, so Democrats aren’t alone in supporting this foolishness.

Barbie had it right:  math is hard, let’s go shopping.

Update:  the video above was selectively edited.  Stanley Kurtz argues that the full video still has a fundamental problem:  a de-emphasis on what is correct.

August 1, 2013

Little Do They Know

Filed under: Curmudgeonliness, Specific Stupidity — Kevin Feasel @ 6:00 pm

Turkey has fallen for the trap.

Via Paco, who may or may not have been in on it.

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