Kevin complains about his Master’s project.
Kevin (2:21:50 PM): Or make up the stats.
The Penguatroll (2:20:47 PM): Yes.
The Penguatroll (2:20:52 PM): Will anybody check?
Kevin (2:22:09 PM): I’m thinking so, as it is a Master’s project.
Kevin (2:23:28 PM): But I have to find a way to dump massive amounts of information into a format that I can easily analyze.
The Penguatroll (2:23:11 PM): You whine too much.
The Penguatroll (2:23:16 PM): Rub some dirt on it!
The Penguatroll (2:23:18 PM): Hustle!
Kevin (2:24:29 PM): lol
Kevin (2:24:37 PM): I’m not whining. I’m thinking about what to do.
The Penguatroll (2:23:40 PM): David Eckstein would have written three Master’s theses on sheer grit.
Kevin (2:25:00 PM): And a PhD on True Yankeeism.
The Penguatroll (2:24:01 PM): Even though he’s never been a Yankee.
Kevin (2:25:11 PM): Unlike Alex Rodriguez.
Kevin (2:25:32 PM): David Eckstein has so much True Yankee spirit that he is superior to all True Yankees. He is a True True Yankee.
Kevin (2:25:39 PM): Derek Jeter has nothing on him.
The Penguatroll (2:24:47 PM): Sir, you forget yourself! How dare you criticize the Intangibles of Derek Jeter!
Kevin (2:26:11 PM): Intangibles(Eckstein) >>>>>> Intangibles(Jeter).
The Penguatroll (2:25:21 PM): I think even Joe Morgan would argue with you.
The Penguatroll (2:25:31 PM): Jeter has four rings, Eckstein merely two!
Kevin (2:27:11 PM): Jeter won 4 rings with heroes like Scott Brosius, Paul O’Neill, and Tino Martinez. Eckstein won them with a thing called heart.
Kevin (2:27:28 PM): And nobody else on that team. It was all Eckstein all the time.
The Penguatroll (2:26:26 PM): 4 > 2, sir.
Kevin (2:27:44 PM): But Jeter only has a share of the 4.
The Penguatroll (2:26:37 PM): Derek Jeter is Captain Intangibles.
Kevin (2:27:55 PM): How many times was Jeter World Series MVP?
The Penguatroll (2:26:52 PM): Eckstein is at best a 1st lieutenant.
Kevin (2:28:03 PM): Looking that number up is something stat geeks would do, so I’m going to say 0.
The Penguatroll (2:27:00 PM): I’m going to say 5!
Kevin (2:28:14 PM): Eckstein has won 3 World Series MVPs!
Kevin (2:28:19 PM): Then Eckstein has won 8!
The Penguatroll (2:27:19 PM): Derek Jeter has won every single World Series MVP!
The Penguatroll (2:27:31 PM): Even one in 1994!
The Penguatroll (2:27:36 PM): That’s how Intangible he is!
Kevin (2:28:57 PM): Derek Jeter only wins them because David Eckstein allows him to win! Eckstein is the true winner and everybody knows it.
Kevin (2:29:03 PM): Only a loser would argue for Jeter over Eckstein.
The Penguatroll (2:28:15 PM): Only a jerk would deny the genius of Derek Jeter.
Kevin (2:29:38 PM): I’m not saying that he’s not genius; I’m saying that Eckstein is better.
The Penguatroll (2:28:29 PM): Dare you question the authority of Joe Morgan AND TIm McCarver?!?
The Penguatroll (2:28:44 PM): And what about the Punter, sir, who also played Hockey!
Kevin (2:30:03 PM): Erstad would vote for Eckstein.
The Penguatroll (2:29:02 PM): He probably would.
Kevin (2:30:14 PM): Scott Posednik, admittedly, would vote for Jeter.
The Penguatroll (2:29:33 PM): If only we had somebody else to break the tie…
Kevin (2:30:52 PM): So the lightning round:
- Bob Wickman: Eckstein (because he looks edible)
- Joe Girardi: Jeter
- Scott Brosius: Eckstein because he secretly hates Jeter
Kevin (2:30:57 PM): Eckstein wins 2-1.
The Penguatroll (2:30:08 PM): But Paul O’Neill would vote for Jeter.
Kevin (2:31:26 PM): Paul O’Neill is not allowed to vote.
Kevin (2:31:32 PM): Micks not allowd.
The Penguatroll (2:30:32 PM): I see.
Kevin (2:31:44 PM): Only I-talians and fatsos.
Kevin (2:31:52 PM): And whatever Brosius is.
The Penguatroll (2:30:51 PM): A bad third baseman?
Kevin (2:32:04 PM): Zing!
The Penguatroll (2:31:39 PM): I believe Tony Batista AND Aaron Boone would side with Jeter.
Kevin (2:32:57 PM): Tony Batista doesn’t count.
The Penguatroll (2:31:59 PM): On what grounds?
Kevin (2:33:09 PM): Nor does Aaron Boone, for that matter.
The Penguatroll (2:32:07 PM): Aaron Boone is a postseason hero!
Kevin (2:33:24 PM): How many world series titles does he have?
The Penguatroll (2:32:23 PM): One!
Kevin (2:33:37 PM): Alright, so he counts.
Kevin (2:33:42 PM): That puts us back in a tie.
The Penguatroll (2:32:34 PM): Wait, Batista?
The Penguatroll (2:32:39 PM): I’m not sure if he has one or not.
Kevin (2:33:50 PM): Mike Matheny would vote for Eckstein.
The Penguatroll (2:32:46 PM): Touche.
Kevin (2:34:01 PM): Even if he does, it’s not because of him, so it doesn’t count.
Kevin (2:34:09 PM): Barry Bonds would vote for Jeter, so that’s a negative point there.
The Penguatroll (2:33:15 PM): But Barry Bonds does not have a world series title.
The Penguatroll (2:33:19 PM): As much as I hate to admit it.
The Penguatroll (2:33:59 PM): I think David Wells would also vote for Eckstein. I believe I must acquiese that Eckstein is at least Major Intangibles, if not a General of the Intangible.