The Upper Arlington library has a book sale going on. I’ll talk about the books I got—probably tomorrow—but even better than those, Pat purchased a copy of Son of Godzilla on VHS. This was as good a movie as you could possibly think. In the movie, you have man-sized mantises which become—I am not making this up—”Gimantises.” “At least,” I said, “they didn’t call them ‘ginormous mantises…or ginomantises!’” In addition, Godzilla has to be there, but he has a son! Unlike the stupid movie which was boring and stupid, Godzilla is a man. In fact, from this movie, I deduced that Godzilla has an alcohol problem and beats his children. This comes about when Godzilla smacks around Godzilla Jr. a little bit. “Go get me a switch long enough for my girlish arms, boy…”
The movie also involved a native girl who turns out to be the daughter of a Japanese archaeologist/soldier who lived on monster island for a couple decades, long enough for his infant daughter to turn into a pretty attractive woman who falls for a reporter on the island team. This team is around in order to control the weather as part of a UN experiment to save the world as a result of overpopulation (remember that canard?).
Anyhow, the defining moments of the film include Godzilla abusing his son, the native girl stealing the reporter’s Hawaiian shirt and subsequently falling for him (that’s a hint to all guys out there: have a girl steal your Hawaiian shirt and you’re in the money), and a moment in which one of the dubbers seems to pick up a Mexican accent for a couple of words.
All in all, if you can get this movie for a dollar, go for it. Just try to get a copy with better tracking than the one Pat got…