From FJM:

Enjoy!

Ricker added that “A-Rod’s only out for the money. For him it’s not about baseball, it’s just about banking.”

Studies have shown that A-Rod is, incidentally, the league’s best banker. A lot of people don’t know this, but he was heavily recruited by Blackstone and Goldman coming out of high school. Jeter is genetically incapable of using an ATM; he in fact only understands those letters to be the abbreviation for ass to mouth.

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